As I said in Stuck on Autopilot? Here’s How to “Fix” it with Mindfulness to shift out of autopilot or reactive states, we first need to notice it. According to mindfulness researcher Daniel Seigel, “When we achieve new skills of self-observation through mindful practice, it becomes possible to disengage automatically coupled pathways.” (Seigel, 2007, Paragraph 6) Mindfulness practices alone can help you to notice when you are on autopilot and shift into new patterns of action and thought.
That being said, when you start to intentionally apply mindfulness to your life as a whole, you can become more discerning of the state of your mind and body, allowing you to identify more clearly when you are on autopilot.
To that end, you can begin to intentionally explore the question:
What are the qualities of autopilot for me?
Every person is different, how reactive states and entangled, autopilot, thinking manifests in my life will be totally different than your life. That being said, to answer this question you can direct your attention to two facets of your internal experience: the mind and the body.
In the Mind: The mind tells stories. It is the place of thinking, where through your lived experience you have learned to see the world in certain ways. The mind’s stories control your perspective as you view your life through the lens of the past, what has happened, and the future, what will happen. Shifting out of autopilot involves noticing when the mind is caught up in a different temporal space than the present and redirecting it with acceptance and compassion. (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy focuses on this alot)
For me, when I am functioning on autopilot my mind is usually in the future. I am super preoccupied with my to-do list, powering through the things I feel I “need” to do to be successful and accomplished and at my core…enough. Usually I notice when my mind is on autopilot because my thoughts contain a rigidity and urgency to them. “I must get this done,” I will say; or, “You will fail (or be rejected) if you don’t complete X.”
As you focus your attention on your mental state throughout the day, you might begin to notice where your mind wanders to, the past or the future, and what the quality of that mind wandering looks like. Is it urgent, or aggressive, self deprecating or fearful? Beginning to understand that these thoughts are just stories and not the present moment, can help you become less reactive to them.
In the Body: The other place you might want to consider autopilot’s qualities is in the body. Trauma specifically can put you in a hypoaroused state (ie. numbing, withdrawal, disconnect from body) or hyperaroused state (ie. anxious, easily startled, irritable, full of shame) harming both of which are inherently reactive. Furthermore, when you are so wrapped up in your mental processes you might ignore your basic needs such as eating and drinking. You might also be experience heightened amount of stress or even burn out and struggle to relax.
For me, autopilot manifests in my body as anxiety and irritability. I am in a heightened state of stress, so I am more easily angry at the people close to me. I also tend to avoid drinking enough water, scroll social media instead of resting (read this post by @jackiescomfortcats) and feel very disconnected from my emotions (until the bottle up enough to explode).
The quality of autopilot in my body is tingly, up in my chest and racing.
If you use your awareness to tune into your body, you might notice certain sensations, emotions and reactions that stop you from settling into the present moment. These are a good indication that you are functioning in an autopilot mode.
The Extra Quality of Compassion
It is important to note that when you begin to notice autopilot, it can feel like you are on autopilot ALL the time. Be easy with yourself. You are not perfect. Autopilot is a normal part of being human, and even being on autopilot all the time is a normal part of a hyper-capitalist culture, so to deviate from that norm takes a lot of intentional work and KINDNESS.