Note: The following is Part 3 of a 3 part series if you haven’t read Part 1 and Part 2 check them out here.
We can get so wrapped up in autopilot, the reactionary state of living life bound to stories and emotional states that stop you from actually living in the present. When it comes to building a mindfulness practice and actually applying mindfulness principles to your life, the more you can notice this autopilot mode the easier it is to shift out of it, coming home to a more authentic and real version of yourself.
The process and outcome of which is not always comfortable.
Which brings me to the topic of discomfort, because to show up in the here and now, to choose presence and step out of the spiral and disconnect of autopilot, is to acknowledge that life is this messy, imperfect, organic thing and that no matter how much we might want to feel a certain way or think we can do a certain thing to a elicit a desired outcome, the expectations in our heads are just that in our head.
To that end, stepping out of autopilot is to feel and in feeling you open yourself up to the unknown space of vulnerability. There’s a lot that goes on that space. Below you’ll find a compassionate acknowledgment to the inevitability of this discomfort that hopefully can serve you in finding more presence and fullness in your life.
The Discomfort without Autopilot
At a certain point, autopilot behaviors of mind and body served a purpose. They kept you safe. They made you feel in control. This is to say, you don’t just come up with habits and perspectives out of thin air, they are created from your life experiences.
When you make the shift out of autopilot mode, you are courageously stepping into an unknown space. It’s grey and murky, you can’t rely on your tried and true autopilot habits to keep you safe in this unknown space. Instead you are open to your own vulnerability; you are showing up to the depths of yourself.
This can feel really uncomfortable. Every fiber of your being may want to resist. To that end, there’s a certain level of trust and practice in being able to tell yourself something like, “Hey you, I know this doesn’t ‘feel’ so great, but doing things differently will be nourishing to you…oh and I love you.”
The Necessity of Self Love
I added “I love you” in that example because I want to acknowledge that shifting out of autopilot, stepping into awareness and by proxy the discomfort it brings is hard stuff. Your mind, stuck in its stories, might be yelling at you to get back on track. Your body, used to being disconnected and not feeling, may be unaccustomed to the sudden influx of attunement; plus you might have to own up to aspects of your behavior that has negatively impacted yourself and others.
All of which you will shift out of autopilot imperfectly and with error and only for a moment, or not at all, or not exactly in the right way.
The Imperfection of Living
“I love you,” speaks to the fact compassion is a HUGE component of being able to engage in the practice of apply mindfulness to autopilot states because when you work to make changes and be in that space of grey, messy, discomfort, you are doing so in the fullness of being human.
You are showing up, imperfect and unable to meet the idyllic expectations in your head.
This makes things, perhaps, even more uncomfortable BUT also more real. In this imperfect, compassionate presence you are feeling, breathing, being in a life that is yours to grow into and from and out of.
Shifting out of autopilot is an ongoing practice and a process, but in my experience, an extremely impactful and fulfilling thing to work on. And yes, it’s uncomfortable but so are a lot of worthwhile things…like that tough conversation with a friend that repairs your relationship or that triathlon training that causes you to slay your personal goals.
You got this.
If you want a personal example of what I mentioned here, check out my IGTV video about my recent bike ride turned let’s climb a up a rocky dirt road and deal with the autopilot of old stories.