My journey to rest starts with Peloton–not in the, I need to rest because I just worked out kind of way, but in the I need to rest because the entire time I was exercising I was removed from my body kind of way.
You see, exercise for me has become a way to be more in touch with what my body needs. I move intensely or slowly based on how I am feeling and what I have learned will help me feel more connected to myself especially when I am anxious. Exercise has become this sacred space of rest, where I listen and tune in to the present moment, actively dismissing the voice in my head telling me I need to work out to be thinner and thus more worthy.
Rest is the Present Moment
To be clear, when I say exercise is restful, I mean it is more nourishing, intuitive and present rather than another thing I have to force myself to do because someone else told me I had to. Rest, in this capacity, is more mental than physical. It is a coming home to the information my body holds. Acting from this space of rest, helps me show up fully in my life while I am exercising and while I am doing other activities.
Having tried the Peloton today, I was thrown back into a world of pushing and forcing my body into a disconnected state of arbitrary measures of success. This space of disconnection, speaks to the way in which we are taught that something other than the tangible, intuitive space of our hearts gets to mold the reality of our lives. If we aren’t paying attention, the emphasis on artificial metrics of what we need, want or should be stop us from experiencing the fullness of what is for us. We step out of nourishment, out of love, and out of the deep connection we can have with ourselves.
Disconnection is Being Outside Yourself
Peloton is a great example of disconnection. It exists as a metric. There is a leaderboard, a cadence tracker, a resistance measure telling you where you stack up against other people (or just against that little perfectionist in your head). Even if you turn all of these things off, you still have the instructor in front of you telling you to maintain a certain beat or to pick up the pace or just be better in some way external to yourself. Other forms of cycling like the Global Cycling Network’s Youtube videos mention cadence and tracking, but the foundation of their workout is based on perceived exertion an internal measure of what is going on in your present moment experience.
Which brings me to the question: What is going on in your present moment experience?
Our bodies hold information. They hold the sea of us. There is knowledge and intuition in the beating of our heart, the breath in our lungs, the muscles telling us to push on or hold back. In the space of connection to ourselves we can show up in the moment without trying to push ourselves out of it by being better than where we are or different than where we are. Metrics are also information and useful pieces of information, but not if they leave us disconnected from the necessary space of being in our bodies and feeling fully.
Exercise as a State of Rest
Exercise is one way to learn to rest in the discomfort of an experience in a way that feels intuitive. It is a time to listen to your body and resources yourself at the intersection of what is hard and what is easy. Exercise is an aspect of a larger idea that we can rest within whatever we doing. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning or talking, action can hold both the quality of engagement with something outside of us and a deeper connection to what is inside of us.
Resting in your physical and mental experience rather than relying on a metric is asking you to hold close what is actually going on. You aren’t removed from yourself in favor of numbers guiding your actions. You are in it, feeling, and in feeling–being. You have more control. You hold the malleable magic that lies in knowing what is happening in the mental, physical and spiritual world of your being at any given moment. In this way, you take back the control, to move with intention and choose the direction rather than having that dictated to you.
The Power of Experiencing the Present Moment
Peloton in the way it is structured, asks you to let go of your power and understanding of how your body wants to move and be, in favor of someone else or something else knowing better. You give up the space to rest in the connection, and the discomfort, of what you are doing and thus feeling, for an external measure. What does that do the experience? How can you truly know what would best serve you in exercise (or in anything for that matter) if you aren’t actually inside, present and connected to, the experience?
There is courage to step out of the mentality we always have to be pushing, and getting things done and fighting and forcing our way forward. You can’t avoid the discomfort of what is hard, but you can decide when it will be easier. You can nourish yourself and act in accordance to what you want and what you need, when you are paying attention to your inner landscape. Rest physically but also mentally is the glorious connection to who we are as individuals. We can learn so much from the moment that we are in, if we choose to stop looking outside of ourselves to experience it.
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