Have you ever watched a young child? They jump at the chance for a solo, to be the center of attention. They make whatever their doing their own. They play and dance and perform, not to your specifications, most of the time, but because they feel called to do so–freely–as an aspect of who they are.
I remember when I was younger I would do this too. I would sing. I would dance. I even got “kicked out” of a 3 year old ballet class because “Kimberly wants to dance on her own instead of with the other students.”
As we get older, we lose this openness. The ability to sing, really sing without worrying about what is expected is replaced by inhibition. We close parts of ourselves off. We become self conscious or filled with shame. We stop singing, or we stop sharing our singing or we sing with such rigidity as to try to guarantee perfection. Whatever the case we lose something.
What have you lost? Or rather, where is it buried? The unbridled singing, the play, the laughter, that activity or aspect of yourself whatever it was that carried no expectation, that was created and cultivated out of love out of curiosity out of melody?
Usually the parts of yourself that you close off are the parts of yourself that were not seen or validated or were unsafe to express (spiritually, emotionally or physically). We all want to feel loved and nourished and accepted, what we learn to do to receive these things informs how we think the world (schema) and relationships work (internal working model of attachment). Inner child work, which you might have heard of, is really the work of making conscious these unconscious mechanisms. The many versions of yourself that are hurting, that have learned to believe lies about their worth, and that long to once again hear the music.
Gabrielle Roth writes: “In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions: “When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop being comforted by the sweet territory of silence?”
Play and curiosity, free expression, is an integral part of our well being, yet it is one of the first things we lose as we age. Think just for a moment about how society tells us to hustle or work before play. Think about how even our creative expression is bound inside a box of “what it is supposed to look like.” What is it supposed to look like?
The answer is your self expression–the coming home to the moment free from inhibition–looks like whatever you want it to. It looks like what moves you, what feels freeing and fun.
This world needs you unique voice. It needs you as the person you have always been. It needs you to share the melody only you can hear. This is how we let go of the expectations and the systems that bind you to a limited version of yourself.
Let’s be whimsical. Let’s be weird. Even if only for a moment, let’s let go of the expectation. Play, laugh, jump, move.
Sing.