I have spent a lifetime believing the lies other people have told me. Their stories of who I am and what is right or wrong are etched into my psyche as “This is going to happen if…” “I am not good enough unless…” “It has to be this way or…”–Or what? At a certain point the external validation has to stop. I cannot, we cannot, for the sake of ourselves and each other continue to hold the opinion of others above the one we give ourselves.
Their stories do not define us; and yet, letting the limiting beliefs about yourself go is not easy. These stories are part of our DNA, manifesting as psychosis and chronic illness. They have changed the way our brains are wired, dug deep into our cells and secured themselves inside the tension we carry.
The origin of limiting beliefs
These stories are written as chapters of memory growing out from our center. They influence each other in ways we might not even notice until like a past injury they give us trouble on a rainy day. Your back aches or your knee hurts. In that you have failed at reaching the expectation you have come to hold for yourself because someone at sometime in your life told you you needed to hold that expectation in the first place.
We build our own stories too. They are the why behind the what. The “It was my fault.” “I deserved this.” “I just wasn’t good enough–to be acknowledged or validated or kept safe. These opinions are a matter of survival, keeping us from the pain of what has hurt us.
When did these things become solely your responsibility? Where was the relationship? Where is it now?
Growth does not occur in a vacuum. We are concentric circles moving outward–the trunk of which carries where we have been and where we are going. Who and what has influenced your story is seen in the cross section. In that, your story is still being written. You get to decide the perspective and whose opinion matters.
Letting Limiting Beliefs Go
It is hard to sit with the limiting stories we hold. They are painful, but in presence they offer potential. Right now, you have the opportunity to begin again and to let go. There is an opportunity to see, truly see, in a gentle sort of way how you have been taught to resist yourself–the story of whose opinion matters.
Can you love the scars around your heart? Can you muster the courage to open the box you’ve contorted yourself into? See with a full heart the ways you hide and change because someone told you you had to. These are the stories we must hold very carefully and heal.
They are the ones we can rewrite by nourishing the parts of ourselves we have lost. We can stand in the face of the perspective we have been told to see and grow around it and through it and by it, until what has been is composted into something different. Something that serves the opinion of ourselves and stands in ownership of our story–loved.
You might also like:
How to Start Healing from the Past and Step into More Self Love
The 4 Essential Aspects of Mindfulness you Need to Know