So you want to start a mindfulness practice. You are ready to begin a meditation journey; or you are trying yet again to build a habit of being present with yourself. To this, I say wonderful! You are showing up to the imperfect practice of BE-ing in a world of DO-ing.
First and foremost, whether you are starting a practice or renewing one, I want to say it is perfectly normal to ebb and flow in and out of a mindf[ulness. Give yourself some grace to begin again. Every day is a new one. In fact, every moment is a new one. So I am glad you are here in the necessary surrender, the necessary decomposition that precedes growth.
Before building a habit if you need a refresher on what mindfulness practice actually is take a look at this blog post: The 4 Essential Aspects of Mindfulness you Need to Know
Ready to build a habit? Let’s begin.
Pick your Practice
Formal mindfulness which is what we are trying to cultivate can look like many things:
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A meditation practice
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Breathing (breathwork)
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Taking a cold shower (or warm shower) and really focusing on the experience
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Brushing your teeth
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Washing the dishes
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Mindful movement (walking, yoga class, running)
The central components to a formal mindfulness practice are:
1) the time (a set amount)
2) the quality (non-judgmental awareness of the moment by moment experience)
If you are doing something with the intent of practicing mindfulness, but the activity you chose is distracting to you, then pick a different activity. I also think it is helpful if the main goal of the activity is to be present rather than say beat your previous fastest time while running or wash the dishes to finish your to do list.
For me, I try to meditate or do breath work because it’s sole focus is always to practice mindfulness. This helps me to make a commitment to a solid chunk of time each day. I can be more intentional and consistent.
Do what works for you? Also, who’s to say you can’t have multiple points of formal mindfulness during your day too.
Commit to Consistency
Making sustainable change is simple but not easy. A formal mindfulness practice is the same way. Meditation is simple, not easy. To reap the benefits you need to show up, every day or almost everyday or as often as possible to build both trust in yourself AND to start to change the neural processes of your brain.
In other words, you need to commit to the practice with consistency. This doesn’t have to be for hours on end. In fact, to commit to something and truly have it stick the easier the better. 1 minute, 5 minutes, 10 minutes. Whatever you have time for and in that, whatever you can feasible do every day. The question to ask yourself here is: What is the bare minimum amount of time I can dedicate to my mindfulness practice? Remember you can always do more (and over time, you most likely will).
Make it Easy
As I said before, the easier the habit the more consistent. Pairing your mindfulness habit with something you already do could be helpful. This is called habit stacking and serves to make the habit a more obvious choice. Something I do everyday is drink coffee. When I wake up, before I drink my coffee I meditate. This has served me well in keeping my meditation practice consistent because I paired it with something I already do each day.
Ease might alos be found in support. Starting a mindfulness practice on your own is way harder than with a group. I started being more consistent in my practice by using the headspace app. They have 10-30 day challenges as well as opportunities to meditate with other people. Other apps you might like are Open, & insight timer. A quick youtube search can also yield mindfulness meditations.
Commit to Change
In my experience, committing to a formal mindfulness practice requires a deep willingness to change. As I said before, commitment is hard. It doesn’t have to be super hard, but it’s not super easy either. You might be very intrinsically motivated to start your practice but over time that motivation might wane. It takes about 66 days to actually build a habit, so your practice needs to be fairly consistent for 66 days in order for your mindfulness practice to go from something you have to do to something you just do.
Perhaps, in the spirit of timeline collapsing and in connection to James Clear’s Atomic Habits, it might be helpful simply to imagine yourself already as the person who has a mindfulness practice. What qualities does a mindful person possess? In embodying such a persona showing up even when your motivation falters might be easier.
Furthermore, setting an intention grounded in how starting this practice not only will serve you but those around you can be helpful. Intentions enable us to root our actions in our values and embody our Big Why which is not only for ourselves but for our community as well.
Make it Attractive
Dan Silvestre says “It is the anticipation of a reward – not the fulfillment of it – that gets us to take action.” Personally, I think that once you begin a formal mindfulness practice, the practice itself becomes anticipatory because it feels enjoyable, for the most part, to be in the present moment with ourselves. The reward, therefore, is inherent.
That being said, there are many ways to make a mindfulness practice attractive. Here a few examples:
1) Create a really nourishing and cozy space to do your mindfulness practice, that you just LOVE to spend time in
2) Savor the experience, really notice the change from beginning to end of your practice
3) Light a candle or burn some incense to ignite physical textures of well being
4) Craft a gateway habit
5) Be in your body: Stretch, dance, sit up in bed, make your body anticipate the act of being with yourself
Create a Feedback Loop
To build a habit there needs to be a positive feedback loop. In other words, the habit needs to be satisfying. Savoring the moment you are in after your mindfulness practice can help cultivate this feedback loop. It might also be helpful to record your progress on the habit. You could use an app, a journal or even a simple spreadsheet with a checklist. Whatever, can serve as a tiny sliver of extrinsic motivation to help you show up the next day and the next and see your progress, will aid in building your mindfulness habit.
Embrace the Imperfect
The last tip for building a mindfulness practice is to embrace the imperfection. It’s okay if you fall out of your practice. It’s okay if some days the quality of your practice is all over the place and you lose focus. It’s a practice and in that process for a reason. You can always start again. Good luck! You got this.
You might also like:
10 Mindfulness Tips to Stop a Shame Spiral and Super Charge your Self Compassion
The 4 Essential Aspects of Mindfulness you Need to Know